This is the last one. I promise.
To my cosmopolitan readers, the ad that inspired this post may not surprise you – but I was a little taken aback this week when I heard our local radio station broadcasting an ad for someone who was in the business of taking hexes off of people.
Yes, at around 8:15 yesterday morning I was made aware that I could visit a place that could help me if someone had decided to put a spell on me.
Now everybody knows that these practitioners exist. Some of us may even know where the individuals are rumoured to live. Others of us may even know someone who has used their services – but it’s still all really hush-hush, because most people don’t really want to admit that they took their good money and parted with it…
A couple of years ago, I did spy a local newspaper ad that advertised these same spell-ridding services. It gave a contact number and a fairly religious-sounding name which you would ask for when you called to get the person’s location, because while they were advertising they really weren’t “advertising” where they were.
This latest ad made no bones about it. The commercial gave a contact number – but since it also told us just where to find them, (near a cemetery, no less), we probably wouldn’t need to use it unless we wanted to know in advance what the rate was for getting rid of a spell that caused us to suffer from ill health or one that caused us to be unable to hold on to our money.
I wondered if the business had specials, whether the size of the individual mattered and if discounts were offered for bringing someone else along – you know, like a 2 for 1? I think I’d also like to know whether they offered deals for Easter, Christmas or the just-concluded Independence holidays which might entice me to wait so that I can get more bang for my buck.
I wondered whether the business had slow periods and what it did while waiting for the unlucky individuals to come in. Did it offer supplementary products such as crosses, special oils, bush baths and candles? What about ancillary services, such as suggestions for keeping a person relatively “obeah free” or classes on what to look for in a good obeahman – or woman – because if one can take it off, it stands to reason that one can also put in on.
“How to spot a hexer” and “How to tell when you’ve been hexed five days sooner than you would normally know”, sound like good topics for seminars to me. If they aren’t offering these services they probably should, because anyone can put an ad on the radio – it’s what else you do to get them in the door and keep them coming back.