The Unmentionables

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Remember when toilet paper was something that we never had to think about until we actually had to use it? And how we only became concerned if we sat down and discovered that there wasn’t enough of it? Unfortunately, in the cut-throat world of bathroom tissue it’s now become necessary to advertise the product and – dare I say – its benefits. 

Now we’re forced to consider how clean a particular brand is making us and how much of a particular brand we have to use in order to achieve this cleanliness. One brand even asks “users” if they felt clean enough to “go commando”, that is, without underwear after its use. To ‘sanitize’ the topic somewhat, they used the more pleasant-sounding word “bum” spoken with an English accent – probably in an attempt to disguise the true nature of the subject matter.

It seems like fewer and fewer things are considered taboo these days. I was born way after television producers stopped showing “married” couples sleeping on TV in twin-size beds and I’ve grown accustomed to seeing on full display what happens after that first kiss – but I thought that everybody was in agreement that some “other” things were better left unsaid. 

Happily, there are some people who still think that certain things don’t belong in prime time – or if they are, they should be cleaned up a little.

This might be a little off-topic but a few weekends ago, I was watching one of my favourite movies. It’s a couple of years old now, but just like my children do for practically all of their favourite movies, I can recite verbatim certain portions of this movie’s dialogue. Unfortunately, some portions of the dialogue really shouldn’t be repeated in polite company.

Since the movie was showing pretty early in the day on what wouldn’t be considered a cable channel in the States, the bothersome words were replaced, and even though the movie lost some of its flavour because of it – I appreciated the effort. But the words were still there. Right along with the bathroom imagery from those commercials – which continues to play on a continuous loop in my head.



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