“I Still Got It”

Through the looking glass Image credit: blogmagazine.org
“Not bad….”
Image credit: blogmagazine.org

I was never big on flirting. It looked like an activity that required too much energy, so I can’t say that it was something that I indulged in back in the day. Who has the time to say something while not saying what you really want to say? I’m from the school of thought that says if you have something to say, you should really just spit it out – and say it.

I’m not going to lie and say that attention from someone who is not your husband, wife or significant other is not a pleasant thing to experience. In fact, for most people it’s probably a welcome sign that we “still got it”, and since I try to make myself look presentable at all times, it is possible to get accosted even at work. That’s what happened this past week when I was going along and minding the business.

The first person was old enough to be my father – in fact, he said that he remembered my father. I didn’t pay too much attention at first, even after he said that he liked my smile – which is understandable – because I’ve got a good one. But then he went on to tell me that he was an “earring man”, because he had a thing for earrings. I’d never heard of that particular fetish, but I probably need to get out more.

He wasn’t wearing one himself, so I assumed that he was more interested in seeing what a woman had adorned the external part of her hearing organ with before he looked at what she was wearing or even how the rest of her looked.  I like earrings alot too, but I never saw them as being the windows to my soul.

I’m not sure if a pair of not-so-pretty ones would be a deal-breaker for him, but apparently the unassuming pair that I had chosen that day succeeded in attracting his attention.

The second flirt was almost old enough to be my father – in fact, he could have been if he had gotten off to a really early start. He seemed vaguely familiar, but it’s probably because he had one of those faces that wouldn’t necessarily stand out in a crowd. But his attitude suggested that he didn’t want you to forget it.

This one didn’t compliment anything about me, so I got the feeling that it was all about him. You know how some men think they’re God’s gift and they try their best to rein all that goodness in, the better to dispense it in small doses? Well this guy was doing this and needlessly so.

His intentions could clearly be seen through the numerous puff pastry/wafer-like suggestive comments that he made, and I had to stifle a laugh because I only appreciate innuendo when it’s in a calypso.

Studiously ignoring the road that he seemed intent on going down, I decided to let him wander it alone. But as his business couldn’t be settled immediately, I inquired about a contact number in order to reach him, which of course resulted in another flirtatious comment.

Lucky for him, he just missed the one day I designate every week for cussing someone out. And anyway, I figured he was pretty harmless. I didn’t take him to be a person who I would likely accuse of gross moral turpitude.

Later on, I made use of the contact information I had been given in order to conclude the transaction, so I called the number only to have it go to voice mail. Funny, I thought that he would have been eager to take my call.

The message told me that I had reached the voice mail box of Pastor [name withheld]. I shook my head because clearly, he had given me the wrong number.

Oh well.

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